


A Place No One Can Define

by jeongyeonasaur



Category: A Pink (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29634867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeongyeonasaur/pseuds/jeongyeonasaur
Summary: Eunji and Chorong were always there. It’s a weird place. Not many people understand it. And not many people can hold on as much as Eunji does.
Relationships: Jung Eunji/Park Chorong
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	A Place No One Can Define

~   
_ On the last day of love, _ _   
_ _ my heart cracked inside my body. _ _   
_ ~

The cold pavement slowly turned dark gray. It signified that the sky was crying again. Jeong Eunji, twenty four, rising bank manager was waiting for her best friend (if that’s what it’s called). It was seven in the evening, just as she was about to leave her office, she received a message from the older girl, asking her to pick her up because she needed a ride home.

When the rain poured, Eunji stood at where Chorong told her to meet. She couldn’t risk leaving because she could miss seeing the girl. Eunji stayed there, soaked under the rain, waiting for Park Chorong to arrive. For almost two hours, the rain was unforgiving but so was the cold. Wind blew and Eunji immediately shivered. She was still waiting for Chorong to arrive. She reached for her phone just as it buzzed.

**From: Chorong ♥** **  
** **Sorry for coming late. I’m on my way now, Meung.**

All sorts of exhaustion left Eunji’s body as soon as she read the message. A smile automatically came to her lips. She probably looked stupid for smiling so widely after just a text. Her mind automatically disregarded the two hours of waiting under the rain just because Chorong remembered that she was there. That Eunji was waiting.

_ Eunji was always waiting though. _

“Hey, I’m sorry, I got held up by my co-worker,” Chorong greeted her with a smile. It didn’t look unapologetic though. Eunji noticed how Chorong’s lips were swollen and her lipstick was a mess. The familiar pain in her chest was back but she didn’t mind. She shrugged it off and met Chorong’s eyes. It was still dark, dilated like how someone would look like after doing  _ it. _

Eunji wanted to be mad. She wanted to blame Chorong for being inconsiderate. She was tired. For the whole week, she was busy balancing everything at her branch and she wanted nothing more but to rest. But one message from Chorong and she’ll drop everything.

_ Always for Chorong. _

“Meung, you’re soaked. Why didn’t you wait for me in your car? Where did you park anyway?” the girl removed her scarf and used it to dry Eunji. It was useless but the effort was there. Eunji ignored the marks on Chorong’s neck. She ignored how it looked fresh and how it looked like it was just made not longer than fifteen minutes ago.

She smiled at Chorong, “Let’s get you home, Rong?” Eunji took the girl’s hand and led her to where she parked just around the block. Yes, it was her fault for not waiting in the car but the last time that she picked Chorong up and didn’t go to where the girl wanted her to be, Chorong got mad because Eunji made her wait. She didn’t want the girl to be mad at her.

Inside the car, Chorong rambled about how her co-worker was doing this project and needed her help with some things. Eunji resisted the urge to throw up when she saw how Chorong licked her lips and blushed. Park Chorong is three years older than Eunji. At the age of twenty seven, the girl was already the country manager of a well known clothing brand. Eunji couldn’t be prouder.

Yes, she’s in love with her best friend. Eunji is in love with Chorong. Who wouldn’t? How could she not love the girl? Chorong was everything to her. Chorong was there when her parents died. Chorong was there when she was failing three of her classes. Chorong was there when her own friends turned her back on her. Without Chorong, she would have given up on life.

“Thanks for picking me up, Meung-ah. I was really worried about the rain because I didn’t have any umbrella with me,” Chorong said when they stopped in front of her apartment complex. Eunji looked at Chorong with tired eyes and forced a smile.

“You know I’ll always be here,” there was pain in her heart again but she chose to ignore it. What matters to her is Chorong was happy. Everything she did was to make sure that the older didn’t and would never experience any kind of pain.

_ Even if it meant more pain for her. _

Chorong kissed her on the cheek and then exited her car, “See you later, Meung! Take care!”

Just like that, Chorong was gone. Eunji felt her lips linger a little longer than usual against her cheek. She felt the part where Chorong kissed burned. It spreaded throughout her body like fire that needed to be extinguished. Chorong always had that effect on her. Chorong always made her weak and she was pretty sure that the girl knew it. What Eunji was certain of was that Chorong didn’t care.

As soon as she reached home, her roommate and cousin caught her just before she passed out. “Ya, Jeong Eunji, you’re burning!”

Eunji nodded and smiled, “You can say I’m hot.”

“And you’re wet from the rain!” Bomi groaned and practically dragged her to where her bed was, “More like stupid. Were you waiting for Chorong again?!”

The girl hummed, “She needed a ride home.”

Bomi wiped her face out of frustration, “She needs to make up her mind if she wants you for real or she wants to keep you as a friend. Hell, just last week, you two had sex!”

Eunji chuckled weakly and removed her shirt, “Calm down, Bom. It’ll be fine. I’m gonna move on from her.”

“Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before,” Bomi threw her a towel and fresh shirt. Her cousin sat on the edge of her bed, “Seriously, Eunji, I’m really worried about you. You’ve lost weight since you two started doing that.”

“That what?”

“ _ That _ ! Whatever that is,” Bomi lost it and practically pulled out her hair. “Look, I don’t really care who you bang. It’ll be better if it’s that Naeun girl from the cafe but just please, stop torturing yourself with Park Chorong. She’s a walking red flag!”

With her eyes closed, Eunji hummed but said, “Well then I guess red’s my favorite color.”

It was hopeless. Bomi knew that her cousin was in too deep for her to redeem herself. She saw it. It’s been like that since senior year in college. Roughly four years ago, just as she returned from Germany, Bomi met Eunji again. The girl was in a pretty tight spot and so they were forced to go back to Korea. Not that Bomi’s family minded though. They were pretty close so it wasn’t really a problem. But since then, the problem was Park Chorong.

The girl was the typical It Girl of college. Every jock wanted to get into her pants, every nerd jacked off to a picture of her. Every girl had a crush on her. Park Chorong was everything. Of course, she was Eunji’s everything as well. Bomi was too late when she got back. Chorong already had Eunji between her fingers, wrapped under a spell, a toy to play with until she got tired and played with other people. Until now, it was still the situation. Bomi tried every possible intervention just to help her cousin but nothing worked. At the end of the day, Eunji would still go back to Chorong like the lovesick puppy that she was.

~

The next day, Eunji couldn’t go to work because she was burning up. Bomi had left her with enough food and medicines by her bedside table. Every time she tried to stand, she would feel dizzy, as if the world was spinning and she would fall back to bed. Giving up, Eunji slept again.

When she woke up, a cold towel was on her forehead, “You need to eat so you can eat and take medicines.”

Eunji weakly looked at the woman who spoke to her, wishing it was Chorong. But it was a far fetched wish because she saw Naeun smiling at her with sad eyes, “Hey.”

“Hey,” the girl took the bowl of rice with veggies mixed on it. “Can you sit? I’ll feed you.”

She sat up and mumbled an apology, She accepted Naeun’s help and ate until she felt like she couldn’t eat anymore. Afterwards, she took her medicine and rested on her bed again. Naeun remained mum and respected the silence Eunji silently wished for. But she was starting to be deafened by the silence so she broke it herself, “How did you get inside?”

Naeun looked at her, “Bomi told me that the extra key was hidden under the sixth pot from the right.”

“Right,” she should have expected that Bomi would be the one to call Naeun over to take care of her. She appreciated the effort to set her up with the girl but Eunji remained faithful to Chorong, “Naeun, about what happened…”

“I’m not stupid, Eunji. I know you’re perfectly hung up with whoever that lucky girl is but I’m not asking you to marry me, am I?” when Eunji shook her head, Naeun continued. “I just wanted to help you out today. I’m not heartless to leave a weak human to die alone in an empty apartment.”

“It’ll take more than a puny rain for me to die,” Eunji played along with the joke. A few weeks ago, she got so drunk and found herself on the girl’s bed. It was supposed to be a one time thing but the second came and then soon the third. It was until Chorong got mad at her for being too preoccupied that Eunji stopped seeing Naeun.

“Well, I should get going. You get well, okay? As much as I hate to be your booty call, I hate it more to see you weak and unable to use those amazing hands of yours,” Naeun stood up and leaned down to kiss her on the lips. It was a chaste yet lingering kiss.

Eunji groaned in opposition, “You’ll get sick, Naeunnie.”

“I think I can handle a few bad bacteria,” Naeun chuckled and left her room. Soon enough, she heard the front door close.

She was about to sleep again when her door harshly opened, revealing a rather furious Chorong. “What was she doing here?”

“Hello to you too, Chorong,” Eunji said with a tired voice. She was so used to how Chorong would always get mad whenever she would talk to another girl. She even got mad when Eunji first went out with Bomi, only to be embarrassed when she found out that the girl was her cousin. Eunji found it cute that the girl would get jealous if her attention wasn’t completely hers. But now, she felt it kind of unfair. Why couldn’t she see other girls? Why can Chorong have sex with anyone (including her) but she can’t even look at someone and call them attractive?

Chorong glared at her, “You didn’t answer my calls.”

“Well if it hadn’t dawned to you, Rong. I’m sick and I only woke up just now. Bomi called Naeun because she had to go to work. Thank you for expressing your interest in my well-being,” she sarcastically told Chorong.

The older girl’s face softened, “Meung, I didn’t know. I was just.. I saw her here… I thought.”

Eunji looked so empty when she met Chorong’s eyes, “You thought what? That I had sex with her? You know I won’t because you’ll get mad at me, Rong. I haven’t had sex since you.”

“I just… I’m sorry,” Chorong sat on her bed and sighed. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

She held the girl’s hand, “I’m here. A little broken but completely functioning.”

Chorong laughed, “Yeah, being sick makes you broken.”

Eunji laughed with her but her mind lingered to her own words. Yep, she was slowly breaking. She was a little broken. But not the type of broken Chorong would like to admit.

~

A few days later and Eunji was back to her old self: cheerful and smiley. The girl busied herself with work while completely ignoring Chorong’s calls. Making excuses like she was busy or that she was in a meeting. She didn’t want to be around the girl when she was doubting her own feelings. Since she met Chorong, she loved her. More than anything or anyone. Eunji wanted to fix herself until she was completely ready to get back to Chorong. To love Chorong again with her whole self. Not with the broken pieces that she was right now.

“Manager Jung, we’ll be leaving now,” her last employee called out. Eunji smiled and waved her hand. She was trying her hardest to be busy with something but all her reports for the next two weeks were already done and honestly, she had space to slack off.

With Chorong at the back of her mind, she checked the time. It was nine-fifteen and she was sure that Chorong already went home because the girl often leaves work at around six. Eunji decided to call Naeun for some coffee.

In a quiet cafe around the business center of the city, Naeun sat in front of Eunji with a cup of coffee between her hands, “So, any particular reason why you called me at this time?”

“I have no one else to call,” Eunji admitted with a shy smile. “I don’t want Bomi to scold me for sulking.”

“And so you chose to torture me with it instead? I didn’t think you’d be that heartless,” the girl told her.

Eunji looked at Naeun with guilty eyes, “I mean, you can leave if you feel uncomfortable. I, I don’t mind.”

When the lean girl smiled and reached out to hold her hand, she felt at ease, “I’m not leaving. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“No judgement?”

Naeun shrugged, “Can’t promise. I usually judge so.”

“Good enough,” Eunji bit her lip and thought about Chorong. Was she doing the right thing? Was she making the right decision? “Chorong’s using me.” she finally admitted to herself.

A sigh escaped the girl’s lips, “I don’t know about that. I don’t know Chorong for me to know.”

Eunji covered her face with her hands and then took a deep breath, “ I met her when I was failing three classes during college. Back then, my parents just died so I really had no one with me. Bomi and her parents were still in Germany. I didn’t have anyone. I only have her. Chorong… She was everything. The air you breathe when you get out of the water. The first sip of water after a long drought. The first sip of coffee on a cold morning. Basically, she was my lifeline.”

“Was. What happened?” Naeun listened attentively. She witnessed how Eunji slowly broke her walls, revealing a rather broken girl. Eunji was literally broken beyond help. If Naeun were to describe it, it almost looked like a broken mirror. Eunji couldn’t recognize herself. At this point, Naeun wasn’t even sure if Eunji even knew herself to begin with.

There was a long pause before Eunji spoke again, “We kissed. We had sex. We did everything together.”

“You two dated?” Naeun clarified.

Eunji shook her head, “No. I didn’t say we dated. I just said we kiss and we have sex from time to time. Also, I told her I love her.”

“What did she say?”

Honestly, Naeun didn’t want to hear the answer. With how broken Eunji looked, she already knew the answer. But nonetheless, she needed it to come from the receiving part herself. She wanted Eunji to vocally admit it. That whatever they have, wherever they are, it wasn’t fair.

“She said she knows,” a bitter chuckle escaped Eunji. Her eyes were teary but she fought back the tears by drinking the black coffee she ordered. “I mean, everyone knows who I am, who I was to Chorong. Everyone fucking knows that I was her lap dog. The girl she had on a leash and the girl who followed her everywhere.”

Naeun didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to ruin the moment where Eunji was finally expressing her dismay towards the girl she had been loving since she was young. Naeun sympathized with the girl. As much as she wanted to date Eunji (basically for making her feel like she mattered in the world), she wanted the girl to love herself first. Eunji got so used to being left alone with so little affection that she’s already scared when someone is ready to give her what she deserves. The love she deserves. Naeun doesn’t think that she’s that person but she was most certain that it wasn’t Park Chorong.

“I,” Eunji’s voice broke. “I love her so much and it hurts so much, too much.”

Naeun stood up and sat beside Eunji. She pulled the girl into an embrace and allowed her to cry. She didn’t mind the looks they were getting from other people. Hell, Naeun even glared at them so they wouldn’t be able to see Eunji’s face.

She was about to say something when Chorong appeared in front of them, fuming. “I can see why you’re always busy, Eunji.”

With the mere sound of her voice, Eunji froze. She was reminded that even if years were to pass, Chorong would always have that power over her.

Eunji looked up, eyes red and puffy, “Rong, it’s not what it looks like. Naeun was just comforting me be-”

“Because you’re hurt? And then what? You’ll go back to her place and fuck her brains out?” Chorong said those words like it were acid.

Embarrassed by how the older girl was acting, Eunji stood up and pulled Chorong away from the cafe. She settled at the quiet parking lot where nobody could hear them.

“Let me go!” Chorong yanked her hand away and looked at Eunji with mad eyes. “What? You’re embarrassed that your girl would hear how you plan to fuck her?”

Eunji’s heart was slowly being consumed by anger. She found it unfair that Chorong would say that to her. She of all people should know didn’t have the right to say those words to her. For years, she only loved Chorong. No one else mattered but Chorong. But the girl was so busy being the perfect girl that she forgot about Eunji and went on to have dozens of affairs. Eunji never complained. She never told Chorong about how it pained her to see the marks that weren’t made by Eunji herself. She was Chorong’s first and vice versa. But with the way things were, Eunji didn’t think there was hope left.

“I’m tired, Rong,” she said with a dead voice. It sounded so empty that Chorong was taken aback.

“Why? Because you were busy with that little slut of yours?” the girl still didn’t stop. Eunji felt the last drop of love she had for Chorong turn into anger.

“I’m tired of this. Us,” Eunji let out a deep sigh. “Chorong, I’m tired of you.”

It felt like cold water was thrown at Chorong. She chuckled nervously. She cupped Eunji’s face, making her look at Chorong, “You’re joking, right? Meung, you can’t be tired.”

“But I am, Chorong,” Eunji gently removed Chorong’s hands. “I don’t even know anymore. One moment you’re telling me to look at you and only you alone and then the next I find you fucking someone else.”

Chorong shook her head and held Eunji’s hand. She was too scared that if she would look at Eunji’s eyes again, she would see what she feared the most. Indifference, disinterest, emptiness. “Baby, I’m here, right?”

“Where are we, exactly, Chorong?” Eunji asked. Her voice was tired and broken. “Because you always tell me that you’re  _ here _ but since we started this whatever we have between us, I don’t even know  _ where _ we are.”

“Does that matter?” Chorong chuckled again, this time her voice breaking as well. “What matters is that we’re happy, right?”

Eunji shook her head and looked up to Chorong with tears streaming down her face, “I’m not.” She finally let her sobs out. Eunji started shaking her head, disagreeing with what Chorong said, “I’m not happy, Rong.”

“Meung, you are. We are. I have you.”

“I don’t have you, Chorong,” Eunji’s voice was firm. “Since I told you that I love you, I have been very vocal about wanting to be your only option. Your only choice. Chorong, once and for all. Just please choose. Choose me and you’ll have me. No Naeun, no anyone else. But if you can’t choose me now,” Eunji shook her head, “I might have to say goodbye.”

Chorong was once again shaking her head, “You can’t say goodbye, Meung. You promised to never leave me!”

Eunji covered her mouth with her hands, “It’s not fair.” She said in between sobs and continued, “You promised to never hurt me.”

Chorong was speechless.

“I gave you everything, Chorong. Every single thing you could possibly ask from me. When you fuck someone, I wait for you to finish and drive you home. When you’re drunk, I’m there to carry you. When you’re sad, I try everything to make you happy. But it’s not enough, Rong. I’m not enough for you so please,” Eunji got on her knees. “Please let me go, Rong.”

“Meung…” Chorong looked at the girl and bit her lip. How could she have not noticed? How come she didn’t see that the fire that was once in Eunji’s eyes already died? How come she didn’t hear the silent cries that Eunji was making. She was so focused on herself that she forgot to check on Eunji. The girl she loves so much. “Please don’t do this.”

Eunji shook her head, “I’m so tired. I want to be free. Please, Chorong, let me be happy.”

It was beyond saving. Chorong was already too late. She cupped Eunji’s face and smiled, “Is that what you want?”

Eunji didn’t answer but when she saw the brokenness in the girl’s eyes, Chorong sighed. She already knew the answer to her question.

“Stand up,” she pulled the girl up and hugged her. “God knows, I love you so much, Meung. And I’m so sorry for breaking you like this.”

“Please,” Eunji was practically begging for peace.

Chorong broke the hug and squeezed Eunji’s hand, “I’ll let you go now.”

Eunji didn’t answer but the girl nodded and continued to cry. Chorong turned around just as her tears fell. She started walking away, hoping that Eunji would call her and tell her that she can’t be without Chorong. But when she got into the cab, no call came. Chorong looked back and saw Eunji being hugged by Naeun. It pained Chorong but who was she to complain when she practically caused all the pain they were feeling now?

With a lot of regret, Chorong clutched her chest and started breaking down. If she had noticed earlier. Scratch that: if she had paid attention more, she could’ve prevented this. If only she wasn’t too afraid to break her perfect image then maybe she would be with Eunji and they would have the relationship they never had. Maybe they could’ve defined where they really were.


End file.
